I hate when I stay up all night thinking about you because I write things I might regret later. What is really bothering me is not wanting to talk to him about you or asking him how he feels. I try not to talk him about you because I don't want him to feel uncomfortable or make him think I love you more than him. I love both of you equally but in different ways. You are both so different from A-Z. On the other hand, I wonder by not talking about it might be a bad thing. I am on a mission now to get all the help I can get from whomever and everyone to help Anthony be able to hopefully take care of himself but I hope that I am not hurting him by not talking about you. I am trying to do the right things but I am not sure it is right at all.